Seek First His Kingdom

I've struggled with Anxiety for a few years now.
Anxious about myself getting sick or hurt.
Anxious about what I'm to do with my life.
Anxious about my future.

Every time I feel the anxiety creep in, I must continually commit it to the Lord.
More recently, however, the anxiety seems to not be leaving, it almost seems constant. I keep telling myself that God's in control. I quote Scripture that I now, even if it doesn't pertain to anxious thoughts. And it helps, but this is an area that Satan has grabbed my heart with. I know God has a plan, and I know I shouldn't be anxious about anything, but this is real in my life.

I came across this passage today as I was crying out to the Lord:

The Cure for Anxiety

    ²⁵ “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? ²⁶ Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? ²⁷ And who of you by being worried can add a single hour to his life? ²⁸ And why are you worried about clothing? Observe how the lilies of the field grow; they do not toil nor do they spin, ²⁹ yet I say to you that not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these. ³⁰ But if God so clothes the grass of the field, which is alive today and tomorrow is thrown into the furnace, will He not much more clothe you? You of little faith! ³¹ Do not worry then, saying, ‘What will we eat?’ or ‘What will we drink?’ or ‘What will we wear for clothing?’ ³² For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. ³³ But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. ³⁴ “So do not worry about tomorrow; for tomorrow will care for itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34 

I'm so encouraged by this passage. By the fact the God knows where our hearts are. He's not surprised by a thing, and He is not neglecting to give us something, but on the contrary he has had everything planned, all the hurts, joys, sorrows and tears. He is merely fulfilling his purpose for our lives, and shaping us more like him. He is in control, and we need not fear for we are only getting ourselves worked up. 

Father I commit to you this time of my life. Lord help me to find my peace in Your arms. Thank you molding me into your image. May I become ever more willing and joyful to be in your presence and seeking your kingdom first before I try to provide for myself. Grant me knowledge and understanding of this truth. I love you, Abba.

Jenna's Journal.

"Wait on the Lord"

This is a phrase I feel like I hear all the time, but never quite understand.
What are we waiting for? Why are we waiting? When can we stop waiting?
Up until recently I have made many decisions by what I feel or what I think is best for my life. However, I've neglected this all too important command from the Lord...to wait. And as a result of this, I've faced some pretty rough consequences.

As I have recently endured some hardships, I've learned how important it is to wait on the Lord. A lesson I believe I will never be able to comprehend fully.
Wait for His direction.
Wait for His voice.
Wait for His leading.

But I'm so encouraged by what God's Word tells us about waiting. Over and over again in Scripture, and especially in the Psalms, we read about waiting and hoping in the Lord. One passage in particular is found in Psalm 27.

"I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and let your heart take courage; Yes, wait for the Lord"

Psalm 27:13-14

For me, God's Creation is a reminder that He is God, and we need not worry or fear.
Earlier in this psalm David says:

"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? 

The Lord is the defense of my life; whom shall I dread?" - v.1

I have nothing to fear. If I am committing my life to the Lord, I do not have to worry about making big decisions for myself, but I can wait on the Lord and on his gracious direction over my life. And the more that I've been discovering this truth, and living out this truth, the more I am at peace about my life, no matter how drastically it may change, no matter how unsure the future is, or how anxious my heart becomes; I know that I can wait on the Lord, and I as I do He prepares my heart, and shapes me into the woman He has called me to be. Then, He will bring everything together,  just as He has meant it to be.

Maybe your life feels out of control, unsure, or just plain confusing. Take heart! God has a plan, and He desires for you to follow His path. No, it won't be easy. But as we wait on the Lord and rely on His leading,  the reward will be far greater than the pain that may come while we endure.

Years ago a wonderful friend gave me a verse when I was going through a hard time. Since then, it's been my comfort in times of need, and my encouragement when I feel anxious about my future:

"All discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful, but sorrowful; 

yet to those who have been trained by it, afterwards it yields the 

peaceful fruit of righteousness."

Hebrews 12:11

Be encouraged that the Lord is our strength. He is our comfort and our peace. In His Word we find our hope.

"I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in his word I put my hope."

Psalm 130:5

Jenna's Journal.